3.16.2010

Have You Seen My Thumbs?

Every so often a cosmic joke is played on quasi-sentient mammals that bamboozles them into performing tasks so mind-numbingly mundane that said mammals seriously begin to contemplate the possibility of their own de-evolution.

Opposable capabilities gone.

These capricious events seem to occur without warning, leaving one dumbfounded as to their origins. However, they happen often enough as to be endemic in regular daily life, often masquerading as ostensibly productive activities of a strangely compelling and lucrative nature.

10% of brain mass, power up and begin computations.

A sheep raises its head above the herd, but only just as the dragon swoops in from above to rend and devour, the acrid smell of charred flesh and burnt hair as the rest scatter to shelter, rife with the rank odor of fear and submission.

Communication occurs through grunts, snarls and fervent gesticulations. Rudimentary tools are fashioned beside smouldering fires amidst the stink of dung and the curling vapors of unknown meats roasting crudely in the flames. Dirt-caked visages glower and shift in the palpable murk of flickering shadow.

No joke. Just a mortifying tendency towards strange, idiosyncratic and energy-intensive peripheral activities that make a poor mock-up of grounded existence, a religion of charade so foul as to turn against the very core of its being.

The directionless miasma, so stifling in its completeness, mocks the compass of humanity.

A trifle, really, this self-inflicted boondoggle.

Merely a trifle.

Thumbs gone. Mumumumumumumumummum.

3.06.2010

Little Si?! Of Course!!!

I was almost ready to go home before we even got to the climbing area. Those damned parking lots at the Little Si trailhead are ALWAYS packed on weekends; one lady wanted to charge me $5 to park on her 'property' (a little patch of bare earth near a trailer park). Can't say I blame her for trying, but really...

After throwing a little fit that resulted in some burnt clutch, I finally nestled Jeanna's monster truck into a parking space. Expecting crowds and madness at the World Wall, I assumed the worst. Then the surprise: nary a person there, save one party on the moderates!

Then a whole crowd of friends arrived unexpectedly and we had a great day out there. I watched Tyson send Gerbil Killer with aplomb; B-Hops fell off the last move of Pornstar (he'll get it next time if he quits watching all that football and drinking that Keystone Ice!); I myself got on the Pornstar and was somewhat pleased to still be able to climb that rock, albeit with some whippage; Bret is looking pretty fit-the spring will probably yield some good redpoint action for him.

All in all, for the second day back there in about 8 months I had a blast. I feel the fitness slowly returning and I'm remembering how much fun sport climbing is despite the fact that mere days ago I distinctly remember calling sport climbers douchebags. Actually, they are; but it's still fun and I guess that makes me one too. Also, after climbing Chronic for the 70th time, I'm happy to report that it's still a great route! Right now it feels like 5.12; I think I'll have it in the 5.11 range by the time the season really kicks in!